I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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