I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
