my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
