i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
