he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You can't motorboat a personality
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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