I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
