I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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