ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
