All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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