someone get that fucking seahorse.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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