there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
