Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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