Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
