Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
