Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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