Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
