So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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