Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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