So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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