I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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