She announced her abortion via fbk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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