She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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