That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
