Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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