he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
