I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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