He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
