I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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