I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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