I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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