Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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