: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
