Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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