Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
