i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
