sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
