I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
