Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
