he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
