he thought i was a dude.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
