I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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