Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
