I wanna passion pit in your ass
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
