May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
