I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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