We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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