Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
