i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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