I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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