Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
